Michael's little garden (well okay, it's not so "little") has started to produce! He's so proud, and I'm proud for him! We picked a few squash today...and we even had enough to share with our new little neighbor Eve and her parents! We also got one really large zucchini! The vines are getting pretty heavy with squash and zucchini and it looks like I'll be making squash casseroles to freeze this weekend! We can hardly even wait for the corn to come in!
I’m going to try to be coherent about this….
I have a sink full of dirty dishes and a pile this high of dirty diapers that all need washing, but I don’t want to forget anything, or leave anything out….
Tonight the kids and I did something important, something life changing, something humbling, something that broke my heart.
We went to the local orphanage to celebrate all the birthdays that fell during the month of June. The orphanage is located about 30 km from our house. It’s out in the countryside, far away from anything or anyone else. It’s beautiful out there. Ancient trees twist their way to the ground between the vast and open rice fields. I counted 14 beautiful white cranes swooping into the rice fields as we drove along the winding road leading to the orphanage. Then we arrived. Behind an iron gate sat a building, rather inconspicuous from the outside. One small swing set, no bigger than any swing set you’d find in a back yard in the states was erected on a small black top. Scattered across this little black top were young boys and girls, all school aged, between the ages of 5-17 years. They we playing with a tricycle that was missing it’s third wheel, a baby push along toy that was so old and dirty, I wasn’t exactly sure what colors it had once been. One jump rope was used by a large group of about 15 kids. One jump rope. There were a few other scattered, dilapidated, dirty toys being used…nothing that was recognizable.
When we pulled up, the children swarmed the cars. I was following a group of cars, and last in the pack. We were joining the Camp Long Chaplin in this good neighbor outreach ministry. Every 3rd Thursday of the month, the Chaplin takes volunteers to this orphanage for a little party and games. Children were invited to attend, so Ella and Sterling and I joined 3 other babies (all within 2 mo. of the kids age.), and their Mommies, along with 2 ROK Army Katusas (Korean soldiers). The joy on the children’s face when they saw the Americans arrive was surpassed only by the joy they showed when they realized we had brought 5 babies to play with!
We went to the common room in the orphanage, where we played games of hot potato, Simon says, and mother may I. These children were so full of boundless energy..and highly distracted by their littlest guests! We then cut the small 9” round cake we brought with us to share with the 50 or so children joining in this celebration. Then they received their birthday gifts…dollar store gifts someone from the states had been kind enough to send. I can’t describe how heart wrenching it is to watch a child unwrap a game of jacks, and look like you’ve just given him the keys to the city. It’s not heart warming at all. It’s devastating, and I’m crying right now remembering it. We may not speak the same language, but to see a child look at this toy that cost a measly dollar, like it was the very best toy they’d received all year, and quite possibly the only toy they’ve received all year…there aren’t words to describe it. In the excitement of the moment, you can’t feel pity or sadness for these children. Their spirits are incredible. Maybe it’s a blessing that they don’t know or understand what things they’re missing out on, gated in their little confines. When you’re with these children, all you feel is joy. Their excitement is absolutely contagious. They crave affection. The first little boy I encountered when I walked into the common room, picked up my hand as I walked by, and laid it across his cheek, the way a mother might tenderly stroke her son’s cheek. All I could do was smile and say ‘eep oh da’ (beautiful). The little girls on either side of me when I sat down just wanted hugs. They kept hugging me first, then each baby. When the cake was passed out, they each took one bite…no one had to tell them to share, they just did.
Afterwards we led a very informal English class, going over colors. One very bright little girl in particular just tickled me. When I pointed to a purple spot, she yelled out “VIOLET!” Violet?! Incredible. Before the children were shepparded back to the black top to resume their playing, we led them in a prayer of thanksgiving. It was very hard to sit with my impeccably dressed, well fed, well cared for and loved babies in my lap, and see what these children had to be thankful for…beyond their spirit. We finished the prayer with a very loud, and very prompted “AMEN!” As the older children were led out to play, we Americans were led to the baby and toddler rooms. The best way to describe it is to say, imagine the very worst daycare facility ever, the one the state closed down for multiple violations. In a dingy white, empty room, with one single caregiver present, 11 toddlers walked around in circles, hitting, pushing each other down…no one was there to reprimand them…no one was there to comfort them. The one caregiver had a television on. No Baby Einstein, just some adult sitcom. The children made no sound. In a room full of that many toddlers, it was eerily quiet. No one cried if they were hit, no one smiled when we smiled at them. I had never thought about it until that very moment, but within 60 seconds of meeting someone new, Ella and Sterling have both offered a smile, if not a giggle. These children didn’t giggle, even when tickled. Then we went to the baby room, where again one caregiver was present. No one was holding or rocking these babies, they were just laying quietly in their cribs. I imagine they probably don’t cry out for comfort very often. As I type this, listening to the silence of the baby monitor, I wonder if someone will be there if they wake in the middle of the night tonight. Will someone soothe them or rock them back to sleep? I think I know the answer.
After saying good-bye to the little ones, we went back outside where the children were all playing with their wonderful new toys. All the children resumed their circle around the babies, smiling at them, holding their hands, and giving lots of hugs. I let a group of little girls push Ella and Sterling around in their stroller…you’ve never seen such proud little mommies.
Eventually we had to go. It wasn’t until we were on the road again, and I was safely in the confines of our big American SUV, that I absolutely lost it. The conditions these children are living under are deplorable. Thankfully, I’ve never been to an American orphanage or foster home, but I would imagine it would have to be better than where these children are living. I cried for all the beautiful children, forgotten by the world, who will very likely never know the love of a parent. They will never have the things my children have already experienced in their short 15 months of life. No one will ever fill a Christmas tree with presents for them… no one will wipe away their tears if they get hurt. It broke my heart to see these children, and filled it at the same time. I left thinking I couldn’t stand to think it would be a whole month until I could go back there. I have no idea how these children smile in the face of such adversity, but their incredible, beautiful spirits fill me with awe. I left broken, thinking how could anyone not want these precious children? How could they be forgotten? I’m sure I will never forget their beautiful faces, and I’m already looking forward to going back in July. I know this is something the kids will never remember doing, and for that I’m actually grateful. I don’t ever want my own two precious babies to ever know such abandonment and neglect could exist in this world.
Guess I need to get those dishes washed now...makes that task seem a little less important now.
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